Friday 1 July 2016

Kids...The light at the end of your socially awkward tunnel ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿป

There was much excitement round here s few weeks ago when Raif got invited to his first ever birthday party. ๐Ÿ˜ Of course, I was over the moon for the little maniac, his speech and hearing issues and a food phobia are a knock on effects from contracting Kawasakis disease at 8 months old ๐Ÿ˜ณ so we worried endlessly about how his communication problems would impact on him making friends (although mummy will admit!the issues with his speech have helped mask the fact that he's picked up a "little" casual swearing along the way! *whistles innocently * ๐Ÿ˜ฒ)
The big day comes and Raif couldn't be more excited. He helped me wrapped the present (90% sticky tape...typical male!) and skipped off out the door and into the car with my husband. I did not attend ๐Ÿ˜ณ I managed delegate party attending duties  to Joe. I came up with an array of excuses to talk Joe into going without me....
ME= I can't take Raif to this party. I got my period I'm sooooo debilitated!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

HUSBAND  = But didn't you have that last week ??

ME= Oh. Erm. My dog died??๐Ÿถ๐Ÿ’€

HUSBAND =  Alex. We doooont HAVE a dog ๐Ÿ™„

ME=Aaahhh... My husband ran off with the woman who gives him extra chips at Dixys and I cant function for all the crying I'm doing?? Sob sob sob??? ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

HUSBAND = ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„*exasperated sigh*

I felt like I'd really dodged a bullet๐Ÿ”ซ ......Because the parents are horrid?? NOPE! They really couldn't be more decent and likeable!...Because the birthday child is such an antichrist he makes mine look positively angelic? ...NOPE! This little fella is the most happy, well behaved child you could ever hope to meet. ....Because I don't like parties due to all the wicked temptation with caaaake and sweeeets?? ....HELL NOPE! Just NO. Really. I'd invite myself to a strangers funeral wake  in order to get my hands on some cake, so cake situations don't apply here.
The fact of the matter is I have managed to turn avoing social situations into an art form over the years, to the point where I'm sure I'm only one click away from becoming a hermit and living in a  remote cabin on a mountain top ๐Ÿ˜ณ  My eldest son is in year 6 now, and it's only this year that I've started making eye contact with the other parents.Even THAT has only come about because they make a fuss into Zain's buggy and then proceed to make "mummy" conversations with me ๐Ÿ˜ณ (dammit Zain, why'd ya have to be so cute?!)  It got so outta hand that it was a major factor in hoping to have a home birth on both Raif and Zain , which was refused due to a history of blood loss ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿป Sod's law stepped in and even though I reluctantly went to hospital to have Raif, I didn't quite make it in the door and gave birth in the car park , in the rain, with people out having a smoke break being treated to a full view of my massive bare butt ๐Ÿ˜ณ Sooo the whole plan backfired spectacularly!
Anyhoooooo...
Raif has really hit it off with this little lad , and the parents are keen to set up play dates and joint tea times,  ya know, all the things a normal mum would be all over.... ( ๐Ÿ˜ณEh, Not this mum.) Tonight we had the little man around for tea which was really pleasant , but the whole social interaction required to make these things happen is putting age on my face ๐Ÿ˜ณ I will be strong though, it's good for Raif to do these things, so it's time I un-mastered the art or avoiding eye contact in the playground, and stopped making pretend phone calls when another parent is on the approach!
These kids are dragging me outta my comfort zone, kicking, screaming, drooling and babbling incoherently like the social recluse I am ! But I will embrace this baptism of fire with courage!!!
(Unless my hand accidentally slips onto the "ignore call button"  ๐Ÿ˜ณ Or my dog dies again๐Ÿ˜ถ)

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