Today I experienced just that from my 1 and a half year old. Just as I was getting ready to go on the school run to pick up my 4 year old, out of nowhere a red mist descends and Zain throws a tantrum of epic proportions. Trying to strap a wilful toddler into a buggy is a mission on the best of days, but trying to do it while they're acting like they're being kidnapped and set on fire is a different ball game altogether. Just as I'm managing to get the buggy straps across him , he initiated that signature move that all toddlers are programmed to do (you know that ninja move, where they arch their back and go stiff as a board then effortlessly slide out of your grasp and escape? 😳 Yup, that one!) eating into the time I've got to get to the school to collect Raif. I convinced myself that as soon as we're out the door and on the move, he will change his tune. HAH! Wishful thinking! He decides that, having lost the battle of the buggy restraints, he will kick things up a gear, and starts emitting sounds that tell me the sound effects for the movie,"The Exorcist" were undoubtedly created by someone following a toddler around and waiting til tantrum-o'clock to start recording these ungodly noises 😳 Spine tingling, hair on the back of your neck standing up kinds of noises, that I would describe as a demonic harmony between an angry seagull,a howler monkey, and a petrol lawnmower. Passing by Zain's favourite crossing guard she couldn't believe such an angelic little fella had it in him to throw a hissy-fit (Well,believe it lady, coz it's the third one this week!) I got to a point by fifteen minutes in where I wasn't sure exactly what was causing sweat to drip down my face...Was it the stage fright from all the heads turning to look where the banshee was, or was it the power-walk /panic-jog I was doing in the hope of getting onto the pavement by the duel carriage way so the noisy Manchester traffic could drown this human air raid siren out....it could have been both. I struggled to find any positives in this ear piercing situation, until I caught the eye of a lad who must have been no more than 17/18 years old. His face was a mixture of fear and horror, and I can tell you right now My child has without a doubt acted as contraception for at least ONE young person in this city (dear parents of that young swag lad...YOU ARE WELCOME!) I get to the precinct near the school thinking if I go through there, it will be a shortcut , however, I am dreading the acoustic effect of the mall so I'm wincing as I go through the doors. Suddenly , all I can hear is the mall sound system playing that DREADFUL Ronan Keeting version of If Tomorrow Never Comes. I look down into the buggy, and just like that, like a switch, instead of screaming blue murder, he's calm, and bopping his head to that God-awful song 😶 Like a tornado, the tantrum touched down,wreaked havoc,and dispersed, just like that.
The relief was almost too much, until I caught my reflection in a store window 😳 My (let's face it, seldom styled) hair is now matted to my head, and I look like I use Andy Warhol as a style inspiration.
I'm sure the others threw tantrums that were just as horrendous when they were small but it's easy to forget that nightmare until you're in the thick of it again with a toddler (I'm left wondering if each subsequent child has a mission to better the previous, by becoming the über tantrum thrower , kinda like Terminator was followed up with T1000? Just a thought😳)
